April 14, 2008

First Korean Astronaunt Releases Get-Rich-Quick Book

Posted in Fake Korean News tagged , , at 2:00 pm by stephshimkooo

South Korea’s first astronaut, Yi-So-yeon, released a how-to manual on how to become a wealthy Queen of Commercials this week. “Some people said that I took the easy way out to get lots of commercials,” she says. “Sure, getting one of the world’s most advanced educations was the route everyone would take, but really, I was just too lazy to get up and put on fishnets and high heels.”

In it, she outlines these simple steps that everyone can use to become rich and famous in 29 easy years:

  1. Start majoring in mechanics in your teens
  2. Earn a Doctorate in Biotech Systems
  3. Don’t steal secrets from the Russians
  4. Have a personality
  5. Become a woman

Tentative plans for a So-yeon action figure were called to a halt earlier this week, after manufacturers decided that the accessories, a stack of books, a bill for a Doctoral level education, and a space shuttle, would add too much to the cost. There was also heated debate about her unconventional use of a “thumbs up” instead of the usual two-fingered “V” usually sported by Koreans when having their photo taken. In another setback, her clothing line has recently been nixed since So-yeon expressed concerns about “the practicality of miniskirts in zero gravity.” Despite these setbacks, So-yeon remains optimistic about her future earning potential.