October 6, 2008

Palin Turns my Fake Quote into a Real Quote

Posted in fake news tagged , , , at 11:26 am by stephshimkooo

Validating My Genius

Validating My Genius

A few days ago, I wrote a satirical post entitled “In Debate, Palin confirms McCain’s vocabulary.”  In this satire, I made fun of Palin saying that “John McCain knows what evil is” which is a direct quote from the vice-presidential debate.  In it, I said that she commented that John McCain knows what evil is because he owns a dictionary, as well as other reference books like a thesaurus.

In a story on Yahoo today from the Associated Press entitled “Palin defends terroist comment against Obama,” writer Jim Kuhnhenn quoted Mrs. Palin’s response to some of her criticism:

People say that I speak too simply, or don’t have quite the — I don’t have my thesaurus in my back pocket all along through my speeches,” she told donors in Englewood, Col. “Well, I don’t have time for that.”

I don’t know what to say.  Either my satire was too close for comfort, or Governor Palin reads my blog.  Either way I’m flattered, and now a bit nervous about doing a bit about her thinking a thesaurus is a type of dinosaur.

Tried and True Comedic Value

Tried and True Comedic Value

October 3, 2008

In Debate, Palin Confirms McCain’s Vocabulary

Posted in fake news tagged , , , , at 12:34 pm by stephshimkooo

In the Vice-Presidential debate Thursday night, Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Joe Biden had the opportunity to clear up some of the misconceptions about themselves and each of the presidential candidates.  Governor Palin made sure to let it be known that “John McCain knows what evil is.”

Not only does he know what “evil” is, he also knows words like “abrogate,” “harangue,” and “spry.” “And I assure you,” she assured us, “I have been to his home, and I have seen that he not only has a dictionary, but a lot of other reference books like a thesaurus and an encyclopedia, as well as host of old editions of Reader’s Digest.”

The Key to Understanding "Evil"

The Key to Understanding

“I haven’t seen Barak Obama use a dictionary” she chided, “I see him with all of his fancy lawbooks though, and well, to a small-town hockey mom Washington outsider, that just doesn’t make sense to me.”

How Can We Trust a Man Like This?

How Can We Trust a Man Like This?

Critics note that President Bush has never been known to use a dictionary or any other source of information.

October 2, 2008

Congress to Approve Funding to Develop “Money Tree”

Posted in fake news tagged , , , , at 10:03 pm by stephshimkooo

Late Wednesday night, politicians and lawmakers were in a heated debate over whether dinner should be delivered from Domino’s or Pizza Hut when the Starbucks arrived.  Overhearing the gargantuan amounts of money being discussed as he passed out Frappucinos and Caramel Macchiatos, college sophomore Dean Thompson commented “Geez, do you guys think money just grows on trees?”

It was Thompson’s sarcastic remark that finally lead to a breakthrough in the debate about how to save the economy.  “Nobody was thinking outside the box,” a congressional aide said as he unwrapped his trademark green straw, “not until then.”

After a few minutes of debate as to whether or not a money tree was a feasible task, lawmakers came to the conclusion that it would be easier to engineer a tree that grows money than to come to a consensus about the economy.

Our Economic Solution

Our Economic Solution

However, after relatively quick consensus about pursuing money tree research, negotiations broke down when it came to deciding who would receive money trees.  Republicans wanted the money trees to go to corporations, explaining that the heads of these companies would distribute the money to its employees.  Democrats thought that would lead to CEOs hording the money trees for themselves and therefore wanted money trees to be given to individual households.  They explained that individual citizens would spend the money in the economy, therefore generating more economic activity.

As the room broke down into shouts and bickering, doodles of trees with green paper leaves became wadded paper bombs, signalling the end of talks.  Both parties went outside to have their seperate pity-parties as aides desperately tried to patch the sketches of trees and stick figures with dollar-sign eyes into a comprehensive bill to save the US and world economies.