October 6, 2008

Palin Turns my Fake Quote into a Real Quote

Posted in fake news tagged , , , at 11:26 am by stephshimkooo

Validating My Genius

Validating My Genius

A few days ago, I wrote a satirical post entitled “In Debate, Palin confirms McCain’s vocabulary.”  In this satire, I made fun of Palin saying that “John McCain knows what evil is” which is a direct quote from the vice-presidential debate.  In it, I said that she commented that John McCain knows what evil is because he owns a dictionary, as well as other reference books like a thesaurus.

In a story on Yahoo today from the Associated Press entitled “Palin defends terroist comment against Obama,” writer Jim Kuhnhenn quoted Mrs. Palin’s response to some of her criticism:

People say that I speak too simply, or don’t have quite the — I don’t have my thesaurus in my back pocket all along through my speeches,” she told donors in Englewood, Col. “Well, I don’t have time for that.”

I don’t know what to say.  Either my satire was too close for comfort, or Governor Palin reads my blog.  Either way I’m flattered, and now a bit nervous about doing a bit about her thinking a thesaurus is a type of dinosaur.

Tried and True Comedic Value

Tried and True Comedic Value


October 3, 2008

In Debate, Palin Confirms McCain’s Vocabulary

Posted in fake news tagged , , , , at 12:34 pm by stephshimkooo

In the Vice-Presidential debate Thursday night, Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Joe Biden had the opportunity to clear up some of the misconceptions about themselves and each of the presidential candidates.  Governor Palin made sure to let it be known that “John McCain knows what evil is.”

Not only does he know what “evil” is, he also knows words like “abrogate,” “harangue,” and “spry.” “And I assure you,” she assured us, “I have been to his home, and I have seen that he not only has a dictionary, but a lot of other reference books like a thesaurus and an encyclopedia, as well as host of old editions of Reader’s Digest.”

The Key to Understanding "Evil"

The Key to Understanding

“I haven’t seen Barak Obama use a dictionary” she chided, “I see him with all of his fancy lawbooks though, and well, to a small-town hockey mom Washington outsider, that just doesn’t make sense to me.”

How Can We Trust a Man Like This?

How Can We Trust a Man Like This?

Critics note that President Bush has never been known to use a dictionary or any other source of information.

October 2, 2008

Congress to Approve Funding to Develop “Money Tree”

Posted in fake news tagged , , , , at 10:03 pm by stephshimkooo

Late Wednesday night, politicians and lawmakers were in a heated debate over whether dinner should be delivered from Domino’s or Pizza Hut when the Starbucks arrived.  Overhearing the gargantuan amounts of money being discussed as he passed out Frappucinos and Caramel Macchiatos, college sophomore Dean Thompson commented “Geez, do you guys think money just grows on trees?”

It was Thompson’s sarcastic remark that finally lead to a breakthrough in the debate about how to save the economy.  “Nobody was thinking outside the box,” a congressional aide said as he unwrapped his trademark green straw, “not until then.”

After a few minutes of debate as to whether or not a money tree was a feasible task, lawmakers came to the conclusion that it would be easier to engineer a tree that grows money than to come to a consensus about the economy.

Our Economic Solution

Our Economic Solution

However, after relatively quick consensus about pursuing money tree research, negotiations broke down when it came to deciding who would receive money trees.  Republicans wanted the money trees to go to corporations, explaining that the heads of these companies would distribute the money to its employees.  Democrats thought that would lead to CEOs hording the money trees for themselves and therefore wanted money trees to be given to individual households.  They explained that individual citizens would spend the money in the economy, therefore generating more economic activity.

As the room broke down into shouts and bickering, doodles of trees with green paper leaves became wadded paper bombs, signalling the end of talks.  Both parties went outside to have their seperate pity-parties as aides desperately tried to patch the sketches of trees and stick figures with dollar-sign eyes into a comprehensive bill to save the US and world economies.

September 1, 2008

SABIS Threats and Intimidation (and Lies) Round 4

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , at 11:23 am by stephshimkooo

Please refer to Round 3 for some background info:

Everything was calm for about two months. In April, E2 began making rounds in the schools to “talk to people about re-signing” but apparently meant it this time. Appointments were scheduled for all of us in 10 minute intervals.  C, R, and I were still all in the same school and had appointments right after each other.  C decided not to go at all because she was not interested in having them anywhere near her.  I decided to go out of professional courtesy.

Read the rest of this entry »

August 19, 2008

My SLO Experience – Ovenless Cooking Club

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , , at 6:36 am by stephshimkooo

As an English teacher, I was looking for ways to get the kids to engage students into learning. I cook a lot, and I know a lot of simple recipes, so, I tried to start an ovenless cooking club. Students could learn by doing, and be proud of something they’d done and they would have something to show for their work.

The disaster of the cooking club I lay directly at the feet of the higher-ups in the SLO. Read the rest of this entry »

My SLO Experience – Advanced Reading Club

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , at 6:10 am by stephshimkooo

Getting Girls to Read

Getting Girls to Read

As a teacher, I have several basic goals for my students. I want to make sure that as many students as possible are able to correctly learn material for any given class, but that’s just the beginning. I want to do my best to make my students curious people who will become lifelong learners as well as make sure all of my students improved in general. To reach this end, I tried to start an advanced reading club for the most advanced 9th grade students. The majority of the students in the school were at or below the level of the 4th grade book they were reading (in the 9th grade classes), but there were 10-12 students who were way beyond it, and they spent a lot of time being bored or frustrated in class.

I was met with opposition from the first step. Read the rest of this entry »

August 14, 2008

SABIS Threats and Intimidation (and Lies) Round 3

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , , at 5:21 am by stephshimkooo

Refer to Round Two for Background Info:

C and I went into the office and sat across the table from two members of the SABIS executive staff, “E1” and “E2.” We knew what the subject matter of this conversation was going to be, so we were less than receptive, especially after the threats of unemployment and deportation the last time around. Read the rest of this entry »

August 13, 2008

SABIS Threats and Intimidation (and Lies), Round 2

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , , , at 6:13 am by stephshimkooo

Please refer to Round One for background info:

After our encounter with the SABIS executive staff, we contacted a number of people within ADEC to ask them about what was going on. Based on the information SABIS had given us, there were a lot of things that made no sense, and we had many unanswered questions: Read the rest of this entry »

August 9, 2008

SABIS Threats and Intimidation, Round One

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , , , , , at 6:01 am by stephshimkooo

*please refer to the previous entry for background information.

Sunday came and went, and none of us had gotten on the bus to Al Khazna. Nothing was said, and everything went on normally. Business as usual until the following week. The SABIS executive team, comprised of the AQC, the RAQC, the woman who had been helping from Choueifat Ruwais, the Project Manager, and one of the Heads of SABIS (regular SABIS and PPP), came around to the schools to discuss the possibility of re-signing for the next year.

M was spoken to individually. They were speaking in voices loud enough for us to hear from out in the hallway, although we could not understand what they were saying. They spoke for what seemed like a long time, and in tones too aggressive to be taken as positive. After M came out, they spoke to another teacher in the hallway, and then told C and I to come in together. Read the rest of this entry »

SABIS Threats and Intimidation, the Prelude

Posted in SABIS/Choueifat tagged , , , , , , , at 4:25 am by stephshimkooo

I was working at a Girls’ Middle School in Al Ain. There were three other native English speaking SABIS teachers working at the school, two Lebanese math teachers, and no science teacher because the one we had left over the winter holiday. We had no AQC or head supervisor for two months, and no member of the SABIS executive team or higher up came to speak to us, let us know they were there to support us, or even offered any help. They sent a woman from the Choueifat Ruwais school to come help us from time to time, and she was lovely. However, what she could do was limited by her interim status.

In February, we finally got a new, full-time AQC, and on one of her first days, she was given a very ugly job. Read the rest of this entry »

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