04.15.08
Normal Like You
I had a conversation with one of my eleven year old Korean students the other day. She had lived in America for almost two years, and was very well traveled. I told her that I loved her hair, and that I always wanted hair that was so thick, and shiny and black. She told me that she didn’t like her hair, and that she always wanted to look normal, like me.
The first emotion that I registered upon hearing that was anger because first of all, she shouldn’t be looking at someone like me and thinking that I’m “normal,” and most importantly, the criteria for normalcy, should not be white, blonde, and blue eyed. I find it completely paradoxical that white would mean normal, and at the same time, children and sometimes adults will gasp, point, and stare at me for looking different from anyone else here. What was especially confusing for me was that this girl had lived in America, and in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area. I know that she’s seen for herself that America, and the world, are full of more than just white people. She expressed to me that she knew full well that most people in the world are dark, but she still thinks of caucasian as what it is normal to look like.
I was thinking earlier this week about what it means to be an American. What I mean by that is: what is an American compared to an Englishman, a Korean, or an Ethiopian? In America, nobody seems to be just an American. We’re African American, Mexican American, Italian American, or any other nationality with “American” attached to the end. I always just thought that we were Americans. People are people, you know? Why spend all that time and energy hating or being wary of someone for any reason, let alone for no reason. I have found, from growing up in an immigrant society and spending much of my adult life outside of it, that ethnic identity is one of the defining ideas that separates societies like Canada, America and Australia from people whose country and race are more or less interchangeable terms.
Before I continue, first of all, I am aware that America had an aboriginal population that was essentially destroyed, but that part of my country’s history is a separate matter that isn’t really relevant to the question I want to ask. Yes, in a technical sense, Native Americans can be considered ethnically “American” if you define race solely along geographic/historic lines, but first of all, not all Native Americans are the same, and that’s not the topic that I want to get into. Present day America is not primarily inhabited by Iroquois and Hopi. I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about nationalist identity. Yes, there are multiple ethnicities in other places too. There are British Indians and all that, but it’s not quite the same because you can still look at someone and identify them as ethnically German, or Chinese, or Turkish, or whatever. In my mind, at least, you can’t look at the way someone looks and say “Ah! American.”
To take it a step further, in places like South Korea, where I live now, they have a class that’s translated as “Ethics” in middle and high school. In this class, they are taught things like South Korea’s status as a regional “superpower,” and the genius of its language. (I should mention that the Korean writing system is absolutely amazing and logical). The most interesting idea that is taught to every Korean is that Korean blood is pure, and that must be maintained. Also, they are taught that race and nationality are the same thing. There’s even a word in the language for it.
Why did this happen? Well let me copy and paste to explain it:
“Especially in states busily reconstructing their national cultures to serve specific, concrete agendas – such as building a national economy – this conception of national identity becomes extremely useful, as the hard times requiring conformity, obedience, and sweat take their toll on the people. When race, nation, and culture become one and the same, this makes all the more convenient a dangerous ideological sleight of hand.”
That quoted bit was copied from the metropolitician, who is quite brilliant, and a little bit blunt. You can view the full article here (http://metropolitician.blogs.com/scribblings_of_the_metrop/2006/04/the_gates_…)
04.14.08
Esse to Introduce New Kimchi Filtered Cigarettes
For ages it seems, Koreans alone have known about the health benefits of eating kimchi: vitamins, minerals, good for well-being, and cancer prevention. It was only a matter of time before somebody applied these benefits to cigarettes. Song Min-gi, who runs a convenience store near the Kimchi Museum, spent years watching people walk out of the museum, buy cigarettes from him, and talk about the wonders of kimchi. Finally, the idea to combine the two hit him like an angry ajumma.
Executives at Esse quickly ran with the idea after Song presented the idea a few months ago. “They’re great! My wife used to nag me about how I smelled like smoke and soju when I came home.” Notes Song, “Now, she sniffs around and tells me to make sure the door on the kimchi fridge is closed.”
“Our customers don’t have to quit smoking because the kimchi in the filter will prevent all those toxins from getting into their lungs.” Lee Jong-Oh, a representative for Esse, says. “Not only does the kimchi filter block all those cancer-causing toxins, it gives you that kimchi-y, fresh from the sam kyeop sal restaurant feeling.”
Kimchi filtered cigarettes are now the engine of growth for Esse. We’ve seen sales increas at a remarkable rate,” Continues Lee. “It’s up 100% from a year ago before we carried the product. We expect this product to really increase our market share, and we’re very excited about it. Fighting Esse!
First Korean Astronaunt Releases Get-Rich-Quick Book
South Korea’s first astronaut, Yi-So-yeon, released a how-to manual on how to become a wealthy Queen of Commercials this week. “Some people said that I took the easy way out to get lots of commercials,” she says. “Sure, getting one of the world’s most advanced educations was the route everyone would take, but really, I was just too lazy to get up and put on fishnets and high heels.”
In it, she outlines these simple steps that everyone can use to become rich and famous in 29 easy years:
- Start majoring in mechanics in your teens
- Earn a Doctorate in Biotech Systems
- Don’t steal secrets from the Russians
- Have a personality
- Become a woman
Tentative plans for a So-yeon action figure were called to a halt earlier this week, after manufacturers decided that the accessories, a stack of books, a bill for a Doctoral level education, and a space shuttle, would add too much to the cost. There was also heated debate about her unconventional use of a “thumbs up” instead of the usual two-fingered “V” usually sported by Koreans when having their photo taken. In another setback, her clothing line has recently been nixed since So-yeon expressed concerns about “the practicality of miniskirts in zero gravity.” Despite these setbacks, So-yeon remains optimistic about her future earning potential.
